Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Of "Feels" and Bloggery

The reason why I can carry on blogging for all this while - and by that I mean actually expressing opinions (and sharing long-winded "uncle-experiences") rather than be just a bulletin-board at a supermarket selling goods - is perhaps that I have lots of "feels" … or so I suspect.

And by "feels", perhaps I am more emotional than I should, at my stage in life (noticed I never mentioned "age" haha). At the end of the day, I go where my heart points me to, even when there are times my head nudges me elsewhere otherwise. Perhaps that's why I am not a "success" in my financial life thus far haha

Tried the notion before - think with brains not with heart - and it didn't really agree with me. Frankly, it has been so long, I no longer know how to survive otherwise.

But on the same token, I am not a huge conversationalist, or have the/a need nor desire to have meaningful and long in-depth discussions with folks, online or otherwise.

I reckon I spend more time talking to myself than to person-to-person (folks who are the end of my long-windedness might insist otherwise muahahaha), and the funny thing is, writing a blog is somewhat an extension of that.

On the other hand, as much as I enjoy having a good geekout with folks and friends online, I would rather have a meaningful and in-depth conversation person-to-person, than have a diatribe of dialog needing to be scrolled-n-rolled up or down in chronological order, to make any sense (obvious I was never an ICQ-sorta-person lol). Perhaps it helps the situation that I am not an "intellectual" person in the first place, I dare admit.

Whatever "depth of thought" i might have had experienced or exuded thru my pores (as much as folks and friends might have exhorted before…) in the past, has since been left in the said-past, in what seemed to be a lifetime ago … as being engulfed in it for years of my earlier adult-life, did not really help me move forward mentally as much as i expected / hoped it would. or so my thoughts on the matter are, these days.

And so my bloggery consists of impressions rather than deep-discourse … more about "feels", rather than "journalistic aplomb" - because simply, I am not blogging as a "journalist", am I? And neither do I, or would I, claim to be haha!

But can "feels" fuel a blog? I can't answer that, nor do I intend to. The one would need to go in-depth in determining the success of a blog, whether it is determined by the value or it's writing, or the amount of statistical blog-hits, isn't it? And that is something I am not prepared nor interested to get into hahaha

Not too long ago I read online a comment where someone who blogged, call themselves a "bonafide blogger", and I struggle to quantify what it means to have that self-claim .... on the same token, I dare not even claim I blog "well", only just that I enjoy the act of "blogging" and of expressing my "feels" hahaha oh such self-serving activities indeed hahaha

But on official forms (both online and offline), I do state my job to be "Blogger", even though there are never fields to fill in my URL hahahaha

"Emotional Expression", without the glossing of poetry nor word-smithing, which essentially leaves me sharing my "musings" and "ramblings", innit? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Riot Riot

"An estimated 400 people rioted in Little India late Sunday night after an accident with a bus led to one person's death, according to the police.

The riot saw ten officers injured, and damage to five police vehicles, one ambulance and several private vehicles, said police in a statement in the wee hours of the morning Monday. 27 subjects have reportedly been arrested, with police appealing for more information from eyewitnesses."
- reported sg.news.yahoo.com (above image via)

I have been reading about "racist remarks" being made with regards to the rioting at Little India late last night, but thankfully I did not manage to read any on my feeds, and frankly do not intend to look for them, as they are hardly constructive and do not help matters. Like adding fuel to the fires set aflame on the downed vehicles. Why does this venom and bile exist in Singapore? Are "we" so self indulgent and full of faux virtue we imagine ourselves to be "better" than others?

"Why" the riot started is as important as "how" it started, yes - but the end of the day, are "we", is Singapore, able to face the problem at hand, and quell the situation as it happens?

In a given situation such as this, after the incident reached it's physical boil the night prior, perhaps folks could descend unto the location, to see to the well being of folks? Without the notion of morbid curiosity disguised as "care and concern for fellow human beings", right? But of course we let the authorities handle the situation first, after running away from the incoming crowd and burning cars, and frankly, I do not blame them at all.

I blame the people teaching them how to react in situations like this.

I blame the country and the government, who has provided everyone an over-powering sense of entitlement and self-preservation, that in the face of adversity, we could only choose to run away. "Strength in numbers" is an undeniable crutch folks in Singapore hide behind, least someone steps up from amongst the crowd to right wrongs - like the mention of a sole person amongst the rioting crowd, who tried to stop the people from burning cars, so I read on Facebook commentary (and not see for myself).

Instead folks hide behind their collective computer keyboards, and foist their feelings online, as I am doing now typing my Monday morning away, guilty as charged, I will not lie.

As far as I am concerned, what had happened was an eventuality, as Singapore itself is a time-bomb by itself, ever ready to implode, and the stick of dynamite or a slab of C4 is in each and every one living on this little red dot, shaped like a "heart" or moulded like a "brain". Anything could be the trigger, such as "unhappiness" with their own lot in life, or even as uneasiness with their status quo. The "blast" could range from a smoke-puff of resentment, or a megaton-meltdown.

Each and everyone has their breaking point, I suppose. The death of the pedestrian might have been the trigger, the alcohol being the escape-route to the barricade of conscience, perhaps?

What will happen in this instance? Is reprisal the answer? What is actually the reason why the last riot was in the late 60s? Is this the wake-up call people in Singapore need?

This day/night, generations of Singaporeans and the world, saw something they have never seen in their own country - something the earlier generation, their grandparents might have seen before … this night, Singapore lost it's sheen of safety and status, and joined the rest of the world.

I do not enjoy the chaos, but perhaps this itself is a trigger to being exposed in a cocoon of callousness.

I don't have an answer for others. I only have my own realization of myself, and of my own actions/inactions, to live with.