Saturday, December 31, 2016

Last Meals of 2016

These salad days, I measure my life's minorly pedantic "milestones" (celebratory or otherwise mass-public-association) by the meals I take, rather than what I buy / purchase in exchange for cashmoney. No further explanation beyond I'd be able to feed myself rather than treat myself to plastic trinkets - which I still adore, mind you hahaha.

But also a constant reminder of my declining health, taking into serious considerations "We Are What We Eat" ... and I need to be eating "healthier", of course alongside my current "exercising regime" - to not just loose this damn belly, but also, yet o get healthy ... well, as healthy as I can get lah :p

Braised Duck rice last lunch of 2016 #eatlife #henglife

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Home cooked last dinner of 2016! #henglife #eatlife

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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Of Coughing Blood and False Hopes

The “last time” I coughed blood, was somewhen 1999-2000, when I was in Vietnam to film my 4th feature length film. I remembered one fine morning, waking up and prepping to head to a shoot location in the early morning, of coughing bright red blood into the hotel’s sink. Very much like drama serials, and back then, I laughed it off and even told my producers about it, as if it was a “badge of honour”, without thinking about the case or consequence. I had a bad case of “invincibility” then - or rather the younger arrogant me felt it was nothing to my hearty body!

i remembered being told to go see doctors, but I shooed off the notion, because we were filming that day!

I remembered in the middle of the set (which was to resemble a “bombed out house/home” of a civilian - one of the main actresses - which I had spent tons of effort on), while prepping for a next shot, I was told I was needed at the waiting area by the director(s), to which I left strict instructions of what next to do (which I doubt if anyone of my team followed anyway - why do you think I “cough-blood”? LOL), and went to promptly.

The next thing I knew, on arriving, I was grabbed by two guys and pushed down into a lone chair sitting in the middle under shelter, and one of the producers appeared and said, that since I won’t go to the doctors, they brought a doctor on set to examine me hahahaha.

I relented and gave in to the examination.

I remembered as my blood pressure was taken, I was pointing and shouting at my guys to go / move certain things too LOL

The second time I had coughed blood, was yesterday afternoon. White a health amount of blood too, mixed in with my saliva, maybe a bit of phlegm.

"Walk-in", not "by appointment" ... No, 2016 is not done with me yet :/ #henglife

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The blood letting stopped after than, even in the next morning. But knowing the breaking down of my body - since Stroke in 2010 - and of my lack of maintaining this frail body, I had to be sure.

The doctor at the polyclinic assured me it was slight inflammation of my throat, due to heat-ness, and was given pills to suck, and gargle liquids. I think he was surprised the I did not need a medical certificate / M.C. hahahaha I’ve never needed them as I “work” from home, but I would understand if this is what folks look for / ask for when they visit the doctor, as often as I do hahahaha

The doctor also told me to take ice cream or honey, to help sooth the throat, to which I said I had diabetes and instead I asked for yogurt instead, to which he agreed with. He obviously forgot and told me to get ice cream shortly afters hahaha

But what really got me today, was the “false hope” I was granted a split-second!

Every clinic visit, you’d need to have your blood pressure taken, along with height and weight … and the read out on my weighing machine, was miraculously 2 kilograms lesser than when I was there a weeks ago! OH MAN! IF I KNEW I WOULD’VE EXERCISED MORE EARLIER!

But of course, the dream was shattered when the nurse (taking my measurements) cursed under her breath that the machine was broken, and upon weighing at the next machine, the weight resumed what it had been before.

THAT got me down more than coughing blood did, tho LOL

Christmas Eve Makan

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Making Christmas on TOYSREVIL

I don’t HAVE to make a Christmas Greeting, I just WANT to, and it’s always FUN to dream up and conceptualize stuff like these, because they help my mind go beyond the everyday editorialising of the blog and personal tasks, and via a semblance of creativity, make something “new” happen.

The glitter globe wass made by my Brother from last year, while the shiny paper background was found thru dad’s old stuff mum was clearing earlier in the week. Snagged smaller sized toys that have been howling around my work desk, and the videos featured below were made.

Getting reacquainted with the iMovie, and am enjoying a new streak of FUN making lil’ slideshow movies again, so there’s that to keep my mind involved once more! Now to have them make me some goddamnedMONEY to survive, for pete’s sake! LOL

Happy Christmas from TOYSREVIL, everyone! :) Lego tree made by my Brother Benny!

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HAPPY CHRISTMAS & a HAPPY NEW YEAR ahead from TOYSREVIL to all friends and readers! :)

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Over the years, I’ve oft taken the time and effort to “look back” at the year, and what has transpired - most times in an effort to produce blog-posts / readable articles of my work and life, as it were … but this year, perhaps I’d do well to MOVE FORWARD instead of spending too much time BACK.

Simple reality = I don’t even know if anyone reads my reminiscing, and as much as my daily blog hits has been the highest it has been for the past decade I have been blogging (not on THIS blog, of course :p), I have not had a paid ad in half a year, or more … so maybe effort needs to be retained and recalibrated, to be able to sustain a future I really hope to be having - which at this point, is simply “SURVIVAL”.

More on this when my thoughts are clearer, and I do to react to just “fear” and concern for my own well-being hahaha

So perhaps a “BestNine” work? The above is for my personal Instagram - which worries naught when it comes to “Likes”, while featured below is my TOYSREVIL-IG, which shows what folks liked to see, and as well the reality that a single picture struggles to go beyond 100 x Likes, so these are beyond the norm LOL

Getting Healthier To Live

Another day another doctor's appointment :/ #henglife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

One of the four medical maladies which led to my Stroke back in 3rd quarter 2010, was/is DIABETES. And I have since been a diabetic, under medication and daily insulin injections since … and from the medical report today, seems I’ve screwed up my body further, with records from ‘7’ points up to ‘8’ now, and for folks who know diabetes, that a heck of a NO-NO, and as far as I am concerned, “HELL-NO”!

I blame no one but myself for becoming this state. DIET is useless alone, and I need to EXERCISE beyond abstaining from SUGAR.

So it’s BYE-BYE Hazelnut Coffee, and daily sit-ups and walks … and just the other day, I did something I’ve not done since my Stroke in 2010 … I JOGGED! Meaning, wicked my pace beyond my normal “power walking”, lift my fits instead of shuffling, and jogged!

Granted, it might have been a scant few meters, and I was excessively slow (as slow as I have been in my dreams, i sh*t you naught - i drag myself around in my dreams….), but hope, in time I’ll be able to pick up the pace, and maybe in the midst of it all, BE HEALTHIER.

Actually, I can’t WISH to do it… I HAVE to do it. Save your tough-love and hard-words for someone who it’ll work on. I don't want to say it or hear it, but just DO IT.

A Wake-up call AGAIN for the new year!

I cannot deny hazelnut flavoured coffee. That is all. #henglife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Dec 11, 2016

Too much for Sunday breakfast? But i's hungry... :) #eatlife #henglife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

I cannot deny hazelnut flavoured coffee. That is all. #henglife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

Dec 10, 2017

Saturday Baked Beans Lunch, becoz not to keen to eat fantastically alone :) #eatlife #henglife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

missing month of november

...the last post was dated "Oct 27", and over a month has passed and November had but faded into obscurity, alas, and I'd leave the dates here empty and unfulfilled, hence ... and it might well be a harder effort to track back the instagrammed images, as I have a gnawing habit of not leaving dates - not because I chose to, but because I ALwAYS FORGET TO! True Story, bruh...

The truth of it all, and the existence of this personal blog, was to hold instagrammed snaps of my day(s), with "images" (and words in the captions), versus wordswordstypedwords (like THIS post lol), which I deal with every single day as I author my multiple blogs, but once in a while feel the need to yakkityyak / whine / vent / opine beyond my usual public blogs, so on and so forth ....

AND also a visual record of my life, as mundane and non-glamourous as it is, versus the lookgreat generation of faux public perception presented online for all and sundry! Hey, I'm not knocking it, as I do enjoy my escapades into the www as well, and wander thru everyone else's life, and smile at the purdy girls, and blingbling at the nice stuff, kaching-kaching echoing in interspace, ever oblivious to the reality outside my bedroom window.

So, yeah, over a month's worth of images shall remain at their IG-source - not that November had been a month of daily snaps, as I'd felt the strain of the year clawing at my ability to "share", because some tears are meant for myself, and not the general public who might not would not who am i kidding do not give a hoot.

The downfall of the www, are folks who think otherwise. Everyone is just flickering on each other's up or down stream ... isn't it all so glorious?

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Monday, October 17, 2016

Oct 17, 2016

Monday movie plans sorted! Now to hang about for two hours lol #henglife

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Getting some work done before the movie laters... #henglife #worklife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

Oct 14, 2016

Sheets about to go down and I am with #MiamiVice for #fridaynightmovie #henglife #filmlife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

Oct 13, 2016

This is going to hurt like a bitch later ... #henglife #dentalwoes #amugliernow

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on

Monday, October 10, 2016

Morning Memories of the Past (Oct 10, 2016)

Spent a Monday morning looking through an old cardboard box belonging to mum, which held an amazing stack of old black-n-white photographs of her self and her sister (our Aunt, who is currently staying with us temporarily), and of her own aunts and family, and marvelling at the record/archive of the past, in which I am particularly interested in…

I’d realise this (for some time now), that if given the opportunity and time, that I want o be able to archive all the past - not just for memories’ sake, but also as a reference to the bygone days of Singapore.

As a designer/art director for media, I’d adore these images as visual reference / research for period reenactments - for sets, props and wardrobe/hairstyle. Even the wedding invitation card of my mum’s own wedding, the envelope in which photos and negatives came it, and the photographs themselves from photo studios in the 50s with decorative-diecut edges - are reference!

Yes I know I have been out of the game for nearly a decade now, but the “job-sickness” remains til now … like I always say: ”Once Art Department, Always Art Department” hahahaha #truestorybro

If I’ve not had to worry about earning $$$ all the days, I’d happily tend to archiving the past, for without it, are we not but disposable consumers with a history, but for the receipts we keep (or throw away) of the new fangled thingies we buy, to replace the old ones being thrown away?


Inktober Day 9 - "Broken"

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Even before getting Stroke in 2010, I'd thought I was "broken". In the sense that as a grownassadult, I was still not the typical successful male Singaporean, with a stable job, with my own family Wife and kids, dressed in long pants (sometimes with tie, sometimes not) ... When instead I was "living large" working ungodly hours in the local media, ignoring m family and living selfishly like a kidult!

The "normality machine" broke down somewhen for my reality hahaha

THEN I had Stroke! And now I was "physically" broken too!

I mustered enough to get myself in my feet walking again, but has since slide into get fatter than I have ever been, AND end up wearing Crocs (which I used to HATE, but they cover my toes from knocking into stuff, so...), and I realise I am still wearing "film crew"-clothes like years before!

Still prefer Bermudas and tees (always black becoz I lie to myself it is "slimming"), and still feeling "not quite right" ... And no, it is not about "being special" - just don't want to become "special needs", ya know?

But LIFE still goes on, and I can still doodle a bit here and there .... Also one thing that's NOT broken, is my lack of drawing skills! Still sucks after all these years, dammit! Hahahaha

This is my #inktober2016 Day 9 prompt: "Broken" :) #henglife #hengdraw #toysrevilart #inktober

Inktober Day 8 - "Rock"

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Saying “Surviving my Stroke" in 2010 was "life-changing", would be an understatement in my life. And the rocks that anchored me from drifting into total darkness, was my immediate family. The love and care they showered on me was beyond reproach. And my main rock amongst the #hengfam, with my late Dad. He was with me every step of the way during my rehab.

Dad had been a retiree by then, and I was homebound, and we would spend near every single day with each other, talking, sharing, discovery new eating places while I was on my weekly acupuncture sessions, and decades of being a wayward Son - always working or with ex-gfs - is something I'd not experience in my adult life, and will forever treasure and cherish.

Until time came when I could walk without my walking cane, accompanied Dad to his chemo, and pushed pa's wheelchair to his subsequent radiology sessions... He had been my rock of ages, and I can only hope I was a small rock whom he could latch unto, as he slipped further away from us, until cancer took him forever.

This is my interpretation of #inktober prompt for Day 8: "Rock". Am feeling kinda beat up about myself for not having a stronger foundation or drawing skill to draw a much better portrait of Pa, but knowing him, he'd very kindly thank me for trying, and encourage me to go forward, as he had been, walking alongside me when I was using my walking cane.

#love #missyoudad #henglife #hengdraw #toysrevilart #inktober2016

Oct 8, 2016

Saturday porridge dinner #eatlife #henglife

A photo posted by Andy Heng (@asliceofheng) on